OR WAIT 15 SECS
I'm100 times more infectious than HIV! I guess I'm gonna have to lodge a complaintwith the IOC. In the pantheon of pathogens, my sibs and I are surely medalmeddlers, dudes. Alas, you'd never know it by my PR. Maybe we need to do lunch.Better yet, maybe we'll be in lunch.
We're a pedigreed viral family, newly named but anciently active while newmates are coming on board all the time. Our names are pre-school simple; lookslike we're gobbling up the alphabet. Pity poor Charlie's identity crisis ...how'd you like to be called non-Smith, non-Jones for most of your life? He'sgetting even now!
We work our mischief in the hostel hepatica, a couple of us working fast, hotand up front, the rest preferring to cavort chronically. Sometimes you mightspot a tawny tint, but not as often as you might suspect. Speaking of rainbowcoalitions, how about clay-colored stools, tea-colored urine ... a technicolordreamcoat, if ever!
Breaking and entering is a cinch for us, each working in our own wondrousway. A-cute goes for the traditionally repulsive f-o approach; N-here, N-therestarted out transfusing, now prefers the pointy pathway, sharer's thereof; Br'er4 doesn't go anywhere without me, moi preferring the b-stream route, or"loving" but unprotected situs. The other guys work with water, blood,detritus. You name it ... we've got it covered.
Get a drop of me in your circ de soleil, odds are 1 in 3 you're mine, with 6percent probably carrying for life. A quarter of the 6'ers won't make it. I"share" myself with 1-in-20 Americans, and especially like the 20-49demos. Hail the halls of IV. The college crowd scarcely knows I'm around, muchless that there's a safe, effective re-combo vaccine. Maybe if we tell 'em aboutMr. (H)Big, they'd show some interest. Of course, that's not going to help 'emwhen Charlie -- the leading cause celebre for transplants -- has his way,now, or much, much later.
We were born to be bad. Tell lots of friends. For an Enron-vested 401(k) or anice gift, whichever is worth more, name me and my seven-ingredient contagiouscassoulet!
Roger P. Freeman, DDS, is an dental infection control consultant andpresident of Infectious Awareables, at www.iawareables.com.Scientific images are courtesy of Infectious Awareables Inc.
E-mail your answers to firstname.lastname@example.org,including your name, title and the name of your healthcare facility. The namesof the first 25 readers supplying the correct answer will be placed in aquarterly drawing for infection control-related prizes. The next drawing willtake place in May 2002 and the winners' names published in the June 2002 issue.The answers to last month's mystery microbe are: Poliovirus, Poliomyelitis, Salkand Sabin.